Why burritos are the greatest food on Earth

A completely factual, science based article on burritos

We all have those friends who love tacos. “Let’s get some tacos from that taco cart” they suggest. These people are merely following a fad. You see, tacos are the cool food right now, but the truth, the fact, is that burritos are far superior. Not just superior to tacos, but to all food humans have invented.

OK, burritos are pretty sweet you might say, but how are they factually the best food?

It doesn’t leak the precious sauces

Get out of here with your tacos, wraps, gyros and whatever “food” you’re ingesting. Burritos wont spill on you if made correctly. Pour in your hot sauces, sour creams, spreads, whatever. It wont empty out all over yourself wasting valuable editable resources like those lazy half folded hipster foods.

Adapts to any meal

What food can easily fit into any meal? Breakfast hot dog? Gross. Dinner oatmeal? What’s wrong with you? Yet a burrito works for anything. Breakfast burritos are delicious. Swap the normal meat with sausage and the rice with egg and you’re done. Whether its breakfast, lunch, dinner, or a Fourthmeal™. Any ingredient will work. Try something you think would be gross. It wont be if its in a burrito. Literally eat a burrito for every single meal.

Can travel anywhere

Are you a cyclist? No problem, toss it in your backpack. Don’t worry about it spilling inside during your travels. Driving isn’t an issue either because they fit perfectly in your cup holders, or as I call them, burrito holsters. Just going for a walk? Read and share this post in one hand and hold a burrito with your other hand without even breaking a sweat. Let’s see you eat a taco while walking and tweeting. Yeah, that’s what I thought.


I think it’s pretty obvious at this point that burritos are the superior food. If you still want to pick up that taco, ramen, or whatever you kids are eating these days there’s no saving you, but that’s alright with me because that leaves more burritos for me to eat.


CTO & Creative Director at @quin___ and co-founder Level Up. Formerly CTO of @vaultinvesting and alumni of @acorns , @simple , @yammer .

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